Author: keto cancer queen

I hope everyone has had a good return from Summer holidays and a great return back to school and work. I made the journey from Malaga to Stuttgart just over a week ago now and have settled into the lovely spa town of Bad Mergentheim. My zero German has been a bit of an issue until Alan told me about Google Lens… so now I’m finally able to figure out where I am and what’s going on!

I’ve been receiving treatment and therapies at Hufeland Klinik. It is just amazing. It is the most peaceful, serene, caring environment where I am receiving conventional treatment alongside alternative therapies. In addition there are a lot of complementary therapies in my schedule every single day too, to help me feel calm and relaxed. So far, it really feels like I’ve managed to clear my mind from a lot of negative thoughts and just focus on healing. I thankfully still don’t have any side effects from the radiation, but I did manage to find a hyperbaric oxygen tank in Marbella, so I was able to keep going with that throughout the whole family holiday in Spain… it seems where there is a will (and the internet), there is a way.

While here I’ve also been working my way through the Michael Singer books. Untethered Soul and Living Untethered, soon to be followed by The Surrender Experiment. These books are having a profound impact on me… I don’t think I could have found a better series of books to read while going through this new diagnosis and treatment. I think there are lessons in here for us all about how we perceive life, so its a yes from me and I recommend you add to the “to be read” list!

I will be here maybe another week or two, to be determined… and in the meantime I’m just enjoying finally being in a place that looks at me as a whole person and not just a target for prescription drugs. There are people from all over the world here – Germany, Netherlands, Denmark, USA, Russia and UK so far and it’s clear to me why their reputation has spread far and wide. The Klinik is amazing, the lead doctor is wonderful – with a real wealth of information, while the nurses manage to get a vein every time – and that’s just the medical bit. There is a beautiful park over the road, a thermal spa up the street and proper Hansel and Gretel woods out the back.

There was real joy the other day when the guy from Florida (with Lymphoma) who has been having chemo alongside everything else they have here, has halved an 11cm tumour in 6 weeks. He took the decision to have treatment here as he figured it was cheaper than the conventional treatment in the US that his insurance refused to pay for! I think he’s feeling pretty happy about that decision right about now.

The kids are doing great back at school and are handling this all amazingly. Our nightly zoom calls have proven to be an interesting mix of changing backgrounds, filters and even the odd game of charades. Alan is crushing it in the Dad department and I can only thank him for taking time out from work to be with the kids so I can have this precious time that I so dearly needed.

Looking forward to catching up with everyone soon. Sending love to you all. xxx

xx

Hi all, I’m having treatment and all is going well. It’s boring and long and annoying but I’ve managed to meditate a bit, sleep a bit and also just marvel at this amazing technology at work. The family has been amazing, dropping me off and picking me up and being my very own personal cheer squad. I’m frantically now trying to organise myself for holidays and Germany all at once, so here are some photos of me doing the hard things. Doc says we won’t know for 3 months whether it worked or not, so that’s me done for now. Wishing everyone the best for these last few weeks of the holidays! xxx

Heating up the aloe vera before smothering on the radiated sites!!

• Protected: The home stretchSeptember 20, 2022
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• Hello from GermanySeptember 7, 2022
  I hope everyone has had a good return from Summer holidays and a great return back to school and work. I made the journey from Malaga to Stuttgart just over a week ago now and have settled into the lovely spa town of Bad Mergentheim. My zero German has been a bit of an issue … Continue reading Hello from Germany
• All going wellAugust 18, 2022
  Hi all, I’m having treatment and all is going well. It’s boring and long and annoying but I’ve managed to meditate a bit, sleep a bit and also just marvel at this amazing technology at work. The family has been amazing, dropping me off and picking me up and being my very own personal cheer … Continue reading All going well
• The countdown is on…August 10, 2022
  Radiation starts on Monday for 5 days. The first session will take 4 hours. The rest will take around an hour/hour and a half each. I will be travelling straight after each session to the Wellness Lab in Knightsbridge for hyperbaric oxygen for 90 minutes of high pressure O2 to try and help minimise toxicity … Continue reading The countdown is on…
• Bone strengthening is go…July 28, 2022
  Popped into Harley Street and had my first Denosumab injection. Some breast cancer friends had told me to expect debilitating flu like symptoms for 24 to 48 hours after… so we cleared the diary and waited. So far, so good. No side effects of note. Its nice to catch a break sometimes eh? Tomorrow I … Continue reading Bone strengthening is go…

Radiation starts on Monday for 5 days. The first session will take 4 hours. The rest will take around an hour/hour and a half each. I will be travelling straight after each session to the Wellness Lab in Knightsbridge for hyperbaric oxygen for 90 minutes of high pressure O2 to try and help minimise toxicity and damage to other surrounding cells. I have IV vitamin C on Wednesday also, so I’m feeling what I’ve set up in addition is comprehensive, supportive, but admittedly rather busy!

The best bit is on Friday I will have the last cyberknife treatment and then head straight to the airport to go to Marbella for holidays. Crazy busy! How has the last two weeks of summer holidays rolled around so fast?

As time has gone on the grumpy old psychiatrist’s advice, not to go into detail with the kids, has proven to be nonsense. A few weeks back I happened to randomly see some contrasting advice from Dr Becky at Good Inside (who I follow on instagram for parenting tips)…. she said, it’s not information that is scary, but LACK of information that is scary. This resonated and got me thinking.

We had told them I was having lots of “skeleton checks” which they were fine about but as time went on, they started asking more and more questions about it. After one night with lots of existential emotions about death and dying bubbling up from them, we realised it was indeed time to come clean. And, they are MUCH happier for it. They are now busy making me affirmation posters and checklists for me to tick off the days of treatment. I couldn’t have hoped for a better reaction to be honest. As my sister’s friend told her, it wasn’t that her Mum’s breast cancer was scary as such, it was just something that had to be dealt with, and that was part of their reality… and I guess that is how we will deal with it from here.

We are currently having a lovely break in the Witterings and I hope that wherever you are this Summer, you are having a great time. While the planet may be going to pot, I am happy that the vitamin D is being generated thick and fast in this weather which is perfect prep for treatment too.

The final part of this update is that after much consideration, I will be going directly to a clinic in Germany for 2 weeks after Spain. This will be to help me recover after the radiotherapy and to begin an intensive start on mistletoe treatment. It is going to mean things are a little hectic at home as Hannah has dyslexia tutoring, Alice has rehearsals and 11+, but thankfully Alan has been able to negotiate with work to take time off to allow it to happen. I’m beyond grateful to him, the kids and everyone who helps our family that I can take this much needed time to invest in my healing. The chemotherapy and injections I had during 2016 seem to have impacted my ability to generate normal levels of immune cells, so the mistletoe should, with any luck, help with that. At the very least I’ve heard it can help with energy levels and quality of life – so let’s do it.

And there we are – I’m bracing myself a little for next week – but am hoping I can relax once it begins and all will go smoothly and as planned, with a wonderful holiday to follow. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!

Sending love to you all. xxx

Popped into Harley Street and had my first Denosumab injection. Some breast cancer friends had told me to expect debilitating flu like symptoms for 24 to 48 hours after… so we cleared the diary and waited. So far, so good. No side effects of note. Its nice to catch a break sometimes eh?

Tomorrow I have my 3 hour scan and next week I’m meeting a new doctor to discuss Mistletoe infusions. I am feeling much better this week having recovered from the horrible procedure of last week. We are off to the Witterings next Friday for a week of “chilling near Chichester” so fingers crossed the weather holds! It would be great to charge the body up with Vitamin D before heading for cyberknife on my return. Hope you are enjoying the summer break! Xx

I went to the hospital on Tuesday and had 5 golden balls (!) inserted into my pelvis. Whilst I remain amazed at the incredible technology that allows these treatments to happen, just know that if they ever tell you that you are having a CT-guided procedure, it may not be pretty.

When they did the biopsy (CT guided) back in May, I was infused with anaesthetic so I didn’t feel anything. Whilst you can see and experience everything that is going on, you feel relatively chilled out and can just about deal with it.

This was rather different. The golden balls or “Fiducial Markers” as they are technically known will help the cyperknife (targeted radiotherapy) triangulate exactly the right spot to be radiated. So clever. This tech in place since 2009 and moving towards not needing the markers at all, but we’re not there yet. But that wasn’t the shame, the shame here was these gold pieces were inserted under a local anaesthetic…. and it took 2 hours…. and you are totally awake, bearing witness and experiencing pain as this horrific violation of your person takes place! Chill it is not.

Going through a CT scanner what felt like 85 times, with multiple needles poking out of me, was utterly surreal, painful and I’d go as far to say as it’s the worst thing I’ve experienced on my cancer travels yet. I could feel the tears in my eyes, but instead made a mental note to release it all later. Which I did. When I finally hobbled out of the hospital alone (as one is forced to do during these ridiculous times) I let all the emotions come out and wept like a lost child in front of 81 Harley Street. Mercifully, the uber driver didn’t fancy a chat. More crying when I got home. And then even more the day after that. But I have come to see that tears offer us so much release. They have helped me enormously and I’m sure there will be yet more to come and I embrace that.

The moral of the story: general anaesthetic, which sadly wasn’t on offer for this, can protect you from so much trauma. If it’s on offer, definitely worth considering.

I can credit the course on Autogenic Training with helping me to allow myself to be more vulnerable. My fellow Breast Cancer buddy also said, denial is great and you can use that a lot to get on with things, but then you have these invasive procedures which remind you exactly what you are going through. She’s right.

Since then there has been warfare with the oncologist regarding when to start the bone strengthening treatment injections which have amazing anticancer properties. Finally I threw the toys out and demanded they give it to me. Frankly, I think they should have given it to me week one after diagnosis, but hey, I’m learning as I go that tantrums are often more effective than asking in a civilised manner. So hooray! Next week I will be off to have the injection, finally! As unpleasant as that will also surely be, especially given that it can sometimes make you feel very dreadful afterwards, I am happy to go ahead with it and do something pro active to show these rogue cells it’s time to reform. I’m hoping future treatment decisions won’t require such battles.

It’s been a very HOT! and emotional week yes, but, I’m ok. After I long week I’m right now just looking forward to picking up the kids from holiday camp and taking them to see the Minions movie! Thank you all for walking with me. Sending love and light and happy weekend to you all! xx